Conspiracy: Experience and Reality

There is something on my mind that I'm reluctant to try to write about. It's a complex subject that would take a book to provide the necessary cited data and analysis. Besides, it's a topic that I feel few are inclined (able? willing?) to understand. I'm not even sure what to call the subject. The term "conspiracy" may be the closest I can come to describe it.

Within human nature, there is an inherent naivete that blinds and blinders us. It takes some combination of certain personality tendencies (in particular a questioning mindset), life experiences (of the strange variety is probably helpful), suffering (to a significant degree and length), a contemplative attitude (with or without an accompanying contemplative practice), and critical thinking skills (not limited to conventional logic) - along with any number of other factors - to even begin to take this subject seriously. I sense that it may be similar to what Ligotti writes about. His pessimistic philosophy is based on his own direct experience... either you've had similar experiences or not, and no amount of logic or data will be convincing otherwise.

I'm tempted to theorize that this gut-level sense of "conspiracy" is something beyond the political to which its normally applied. Is it metaphysical in terms of reality being illusory, deceptive even? Is it the insight of the Gnostics? Most definitely, the pessimistic views on suffering and freewill play a part in this, and along with all of this the noir vision of life. Of course, there are various psychological and socio-political explanations one can give for this experience (subjective or objective) of conspiracy, but to me any mundane explanation can't touch upon the mystery at the heart of the matter. I could bring up many aspects, but I'm not in the mood to philosophically analyze.

If I'm interested in the mystery more than the explanations, then why did I choose to use the term "conspiracy"? There are two reasons. I am interested in the real world correlations of this experience which would include the topics normally placed in this category. The other reason is because Ligotti uses this word in the title of his book about pessimism. Ligotti's views are in the background of my thinking even though this blog isn't about his ideas.

Okay, let me now get at my main point. Conspiracies in the real world are only possible because the human psyche has a natural inclination towards conspiracies. Just consider the young of our species. Children are often conspiring with their siblings against their parents or with their friends against various authority figures or even with other children against other children. Children are no innocents. Conniving little beasts is what they are. Of course, parents and authority figures likewise conspire to control and mould children towards their own nefarious ends such as making them into law-abiding citizens and obedient workers.

Conspiracies are found in all aspects of life. A conspiracy is simply anything covertly shared between two or more people toward some end. I suspect that many people dismiss conspiracy theories because they wish to deny their own secretiveness. We all have many secrets. We all withhold information and distort the truth in trying to gain advantage in our relationships and our everyday activities. In fact, it's normal and considered acceptable (expected even) for individuals to present their best face/persona.

As for the more common definition of "conspiracy", one could spend (and many have spent) their whole life investigating and compiling the complex webs of covert (and often illegal) activities of various people and organizations: government officials, alphabet soup agencies, military, owners and CEOs of corporations, those involved in the stock market, special interest groups, scientists, unions, mafia, etc.). The close connections between old wealth families, royal blood, political position, and corporation ownership (such as media and oil) is intriguing to say the least. In terms of the US, some other interesting details that rarely make it into the mainstream media and are rarely investigated deeply even when they do get brief media attention: election discrepancies, history of government experimentation on citizens, missing federal money and black budget, illegal activities in other countries implemented or supported by this government, large number of people who disappear every year, and on and on.

Conspiracies (and other unexplained phenomena) are happening all of the time. One just hopes that they either benefit one or at least don't cause harm. Most people simply trust (or maybe just never think to question) the government (and other powerful organizations including the mainstream media) even though there is no clear justification for such blind faith.

I'm not recommending mistrust and suspiciousness. I'm not actually recommending anything, but I am a proponent of curiosity and critical thinking... which I perceive as fairly rare attributes. It's understandable. Few if any would willingly choose to think about conspiracies... only those who are insane or have too much time on their hands waste their lives on conspiracy theories. Its just that, once this view has been deeply considered (however that comes about), it's extremely hard to forget. This isn't to imply that it is somehow important. It seems to me that it doesn't necessarily have much significance from a practical perspective. It certainly hasn't helped me in my life.

Conspiracies always have existed and always will; and there have always been those obsessed about uncovering them and there always will. But who cares? I'm sure most people don't care (bread and circus I suppose). Besides, if you're one of the lucky few in the world to live well off in a powerful country, then most conspiracies probably work in your favor. And if not, then you're just f*cked and you might as well resign yourself to your fate. Ha! How about that for cynicism!?!

Its true that all of this is a moral issue, but morality on this scale is practically invisible to the average person. Most people are just too busy trying to get by to worry about these seemingly pointless speculations. Even if someone becomes aware of various morally questionable covert activities, it is easy to rationalize them away. Morality only matters on the personal level and it's hard to connect to conspiracies as being a part of one's personal reality.

I only think about this kind of thing because I don't know how to not think about it. I'm genuinely bewildered that more people aren't bothered by it. Despite my cynical attitude, I don't see conspiracies as specifically negative. That conspiracies exist is simply a fact. That the world is very strange (stranger than science will ever comprehend) is simply the way the world is. To speculate any further would be to enter the realm of philosophy and religion, and that could be a very very long discussion.

Dream: Escaping Into and Out of the Woods

I'm walking into a park (somewhat seems like Hickory Hill) with another person... I almost think this person was a chimp. There is something (a person? a dog?) who is going to try to hunt us down, but we have a head start. That other dog-person is in the building at the edge of the park. We're on a trail that is just a few feet into the woods and runs along the edge before turning in. I have the plan of moving fast while zig-zagging and staying on the trail so that we won't leave any signs of our passing. I want to get to the far side of the park just beyond the boundary and hide out in some woods there.

We (which includes other people now... brothers?) have entered an abandoned school (seems like Longfellow Elementary with elements of Robert Lee Hall at Blue Ridge YMCA). I'm leading the way and I just want to pass through, but its confusing. I figure it will be quicker to go up in order to get back down to an exit. We get to the very top and its an open large room. At some point, I become aware of ghosts everywhere. I have papers that I'm clutching which are very important to me (my own writings?). We get to the far end of the upstairs which is a space separated from the other section but with an open door way and in this section is the stairs.

The ghosts are unavoidable. I start interacting with them. Some are irritable but not mean. It seems if you don't disturb them they mostly leave you alone. And if you're nice to them, they're mostly nice in return. I keep telling the irritable ghosts that I'm sorry and its feels like I mean it. I am still slightly afraid but starting to relax. I pet a ghost dog.

We were starting to go down stairs when I realized I'd dropped some of my papers. I say to the others that I have to go back. I pick up the papers that are scattered and some of them seem to be chewed or ripped.

We start to go down again, but suddenly there are reporters. The reporters are speaking with the ghosts. I don't want the reporters to see me and I try to blend in with the ghosts as I make my escape. I go back the way we came to the other side of the top floor. There is a female reporter close behind me, but I don't think she has noticed me. I run down the stairs and manage to elude her as I make my way outside. I go to the side of the building so it won't be obvious that I came out the door in case she comes out that way as well. I walk back towards the building at the edge of the park. There are people there and I try to blend in.